Purple Lamp

by eivindw

What do you think of my STORY!?

BEST ANSWER TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY BOTHERS TO READ/CRITUQUE IT

A gangly, brown-haired young man and a sturdy, purple unicorn sat in a sunny meadow. John held the horse’s tough horn in one hand, admiring the perfect spirals. The other hand carefully plucked stray white hairs that had a habit of getting stuck in the horses eyelashes and muzzle. Finished, he petted the beast’s velvet nose and it smiled.
“Did you have the dream again last night?” asked the unicorn. Her voice was gentle, almost musical.
John hesitated, then said, “Well, it was different this time. A lot longer, and less dreamlike. I’d have a hard time telling why it wasn’t a dream, other than being awake now. I was in the same little room though, with the bed and the little window on the door.”
“Did you see the lady again, with the eyes?”
“Yeah, a black lady with blue eyes! Isn’t that something? She’s real friendly though, I wish I could say something to her but I can never come up with the words. She’s just a dream person though, so I guess it doesn’t really matter.”
“Is that her standing behind you right now?”
John looked over his shoulder and with a fright saw the very same lady. He pulled back into the corner of the room, onto the bed. He focused on his chewed, bleeding fingernails and tried to hide behind his flimsy, hospital gown. The meadow was gone, the clinical blue walls of the room were painfully closed in. The unicorn had been reduced to a mere whisper in his ears, reassuring him with nothing more than ‘it’s ok John’ over and over.
“No one is here but me John. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” The nurse’s voice was deep and calm; her cobalt eyes twinkled in the cheap fluorescent light. “Who were you talking to?”
“The unicorn,” John replied, his voice shaky.
“There is no unicorn John. That was just a hallucination.”
John lowered his eyebrows and grimaced. His eyes widened in horror. “How do I know you’re real?”

Best answer:

Answer by Jeremy
i honestly think it sucks ass. not only the plot, but it is poorly written, and the grammar could use a lot of work…seriously its hardly a “story” at all…

hearing the truth hurts…

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